Divorce

In the world we live in today this is a very sore subject that has become very common. A lot of times we overlook the positives as we seem to judge harshly on those that have divorced. Divorce many times takes place because of the misuse of agency. Men and Women come together in marriage with this fantasy idea that everything will be as a fairytale. They shortly realize that it is hard work and it takes practice to get good at it. In some instances people give up trying and they get divorced because it can be considered the "easy way out". Before the legal divorce becomes approved and finalized it is very common to have already emotionally checked our and divorced in that way. It causes families to split and it can become a great stressor (something that brings you stress) in your life. The studies show that many times it is the women that choose to divorce rather than the men. The men are most likely to call for professional help as the wife pretends it doesn't exist until she cant handle it anymore. Of course it is not like this in every case but it is becoming more commonly seen. Many times the women that divorce never get remarried as the men do. This was a crazy stat for me yet I understand because I see that women tend to stay home more with the kids and they seem to have more of an emotional attachment than men do. Again, it is not like this in all instances yet it is just the most common. Divorce isn't always the best choice, yet everyone's situations are different and we, as God's children, are not here to judge. God always gives us more than one opportunity to feel happiness. I know that he loves all of his children and whether we choose to end with divorce or push forward through the hard times, God will be there giving us strength

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WHY PARENTING?

               A parent is defined as a caretaker of the offspring in their own species by learning and growing with them by responding and recognizing their needs. As a parent better understand their child, they become to better understand themselves. The role of parent is so vital because we are than taking on the role of Mother or Father which comes with a great responsibility. We become to understand the true plan of happiness as we progress in this new of phase in our lives. God trusts us to love his children and to help guide them so that they can one day be worthy to live in his presence again. In that right there, comes the GREAT RESPONSIBILITY.

             Children respond to Love and to contact. When a parent shows interest in their child through a loving voice and a great big hug the child than gains a trust for that parent. They begin to rely on them for help. They know where to turn to and they know who to trust. this is so important in a child's life because they need that attention and they need that acceptance from someone. A parent is to help the child to survive and thrive. They have the best interest at heart for the child and they do so willingly. The gospel gives us opportunities to learn and to better our parenting. It allows us the opportunity to understand and apply the teachings from the prophets into our lives. The blessings of parenting are unimaginable.  

DINK

                                                            Duel Income No Kids
With out Children....    
Positive:                                                                                          
        Savings without debt
        more emergency
        avoid boredom
        Vacate
        afford nicer living circumstances

Negative:
       Transportation
        less quality time together
        Double transportation
        Other priorities
       

With Children.....
Positive:
         More emergency money
         Benefits
         More satisfaction
         Leisure
Negative:
         Role Confusion
         Child care
         Medical
         less influence over our children
         Emotional attachments will suffer
         Fail to convey value of the family
         More independence
       
As shown above there are many positives and negatives that follow a duel income household. I came from a family that had two parents working. I would have to say that I saw many things that functioned very nicely yet others that didn't. I am also the oldest of five kids and I felt a huge burden about my shoulders as I took on a very important role as older sister. Not only does money affect things within the marriage but it can change a family. Many say there are more benefits to having one parent at home as the other worked. In my own experiences I saw that our choices and our agency on how we choose to act upon our circumstances alters the outcome. For example, having two parents working as I grew up, worked our great. I saw unity happen because we learned to cherish the time we had together.

Communication

We all respond to love in different ways. Some prefer words of affirmation while others prefer acts of service. We all love to be loved. In our lives we are expected to act a certain way, we are to do certain things, and we are to say things in a certain way. Yet, it isn’t always like that. We were given agency as a gift from our Heavenly Father to test us as we are to progress. Media has become a vital way to communicate. In our relationships we see that they are becoming, just as important physically together as it is while we are away from each other, yet connected through technology. 14% of communication is the words that are said, 35% is the tone it was presented and 51% is nonverbal. Through the media we are only given that 14% and it can be easily confused. We use code in order to communicate and we are expected to decode in order to keep the peace. Men and Women are so different and in order to coexist it is important to understand one another. I know that this can make things complicated yet it is an opportunity to grow. Growth is important to God’s plan and he wants us to take advantage of every situation that is placed before us. Communication can be mistaken if we choose to mistake it. We must take what we know and give it the benefit of the doubt. We are imperfect beings but we come from a perfect Heavenly Father that will lead and guide us to the best of our successes.     

Stressors within the Family

Many may believe that stress is a negative cause one may have to a difficult situation. Yet, they do not know that stress is actually a healthy benefit to ones day to day life. We need to have stress in order to grow. Our strengths become our strengths through our experiences. Now the question is..... Does stress, within the bonds of a family, harm a families unity? Again... STRESS IS GOOD! The family receives an opportunity to grow.... not only individually but together as a family unit. People that have stress that believe it is bad for them have a higher risk of dying from the stressor yet those that have stress but understand the benefits actually benefit from it and have a positive outcome. Mentally, stress is difficult yet if one can keep strong mentally than physically they will strengthen as well. A family that can keep strong through the hard times, is a family that will uplift others through their hard times as well and strengthen others through the experiences they had as they were weak. The family is a wonderful unit that is and has always been part of God's plan for all of his children. He knows that it can bring us happiness. He also knows that through a family we learn to become more and more like him. How beautiful is God's plan truly? Stress is part of that plan and allow us to become closer to our Father in Heaven.    

Intimacy

Intimacy: a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.

            The Worlds outlook on Sex has become vulgar, as God continues to view it as a sacred bond one has with his or her spouse. God is an unchanging God and this sacred act is still an act that we are commanded to save until marriage. 
               Men and Women were created differently but yet were both created in the image of God. 
He gave us the blessing of being intimate with a person so that we could bring life to this planet and so that we could share something very special with the person that we absolutely love. Love is a very strong emotion that we are able to create with someone that has won over our hearts. In saying that Love is a very strong emotion, we may also say that intimacy is a strong emotion that we may share with our spouse. As young adults get married it may be considered as fun because it is something new and exciting but yet it still sacred and it is still something that can bring you two together in a very spiritual way. We are so blessed and if we choose to use intimacy in the correct way we again receive blessings from the Lord. 

Dating... Are you ready for Marriage????

Before my mission I found myself dating a lot of good guys that all had goals and had their minds set in where they wanted to go with their lives. I found myself falling in love, not being interested in a guy, and or even not knowing what I really want with a guy. Dating is not easy! Before the mission it was noncommittal, no pressure what so ever, and no interest to find "THE ONE". Now having returned from the mission there is so much pressure. Dating has become something TOTALLY different. It is no longer something that is "just for fun". I mean it could be but it seems like it is life or death at this point. I am 22 years old and everyone has these super high expectations for me getting married within this year. It scares me but understanding the true meaning of God's plan for us, allows us peace in our lives. I know that God has a plan and his plan is perfect. He wants us to choose yet he will guide us in the right directions so that we don't regret our decisions. He trusts us and he wants us to be to happy and for that we follow him and his council. A marriage is a sacred promise that we make to our Heavenly Father that allow us the blessings of the heavens. We call that a covenant and as we become closer with God we become closer with our spouse. Within the bounds of a happy eternal marriage comes the gospel and its teachings. Faith in Christ increases our ability to listen to the still small voice of the Holy Ghost. He will help lead us to our own happily ever afters. There I find my inter peace and there I find my Savior's love cradling me from the craziness of this world.        

What is LOVE?

Many times we ask ourselves "What is Love?" and we make excuses as to what we may think it should be like when really we may not even know. Love is a feeling. Its something that is hard to describe yet we know it exists because we can feel it. Love is not just the butterflies that one may feel when they are around somebody yet it is an action that one may take to serve someone they may care for. We are counseled to date and we have been given suggestions to keep a clear conscious. The apostles have counseled the youth of our day to date with a plan, to date paired off, and to date with the means to do so. In doing these things we find ourselves getting to know the person and getting to become familiar with the attributes we may be looking for in a spouse. Something to be very careful of as we are dating is to ensure ourselves that we are in love and not just misattributed of arousel. As imperfect beings we mistake our feelings to be much more than they may actually be. Butterflies in the stomach, our heart rate racing, and longing to be near them may seem like love when actually it can all be a trick our body is playing on us. We have been counseled to not pray, read our scriptures, and or go to the temple with those whom we are dating so that we don't mistake our spiritual upliftings to be love. The spirit, as well, can make us feel butterflies in the stomach and allow the heart to race etc. yet it is the spirit speaking to us and not Love. There is a difference and we must be very careful when we allow ourselves to fall in love. Love is a privilege and a blessing from the Lord. Let us build friendships and build on that to become something worth fighting for. Love is beautiful and Eternal.    

Same Sex Attractions

In the world today, we see same sex attraction to be more and more acceptable. Gay and Lesbian marriage is now legal and it is becoming more and more common. A week ago I was a lot more closed minded on this issue but as I began understanding why, what, and how I have come to understand that many times they are just a little confused. As people living in this big world we are influenced by everything that surrounds us. We choose right from wrong along with how we feel or how to act. Within twins many time we see competition or we see comparison. This can trigger attention by "choosing" to be gay. One may have experienced trama in their life that left one feeling like they are gay and or one may have been raised in a way that triggered femininity, and instantly they are referenced as being gay. Confusion surrounds us and we are all faced with adversity. Some are faced with harder trials than others but our Heavenly Father is are of our limits and he knows that we can succeed. He loves us and we must never stop the fight. I may not support everything that Gays and Lesbians do but I now understand them and have a new level of respect for them. It can be referred to as a trial that these children of God have been given and they can choose what they want to do with it. We are all children of our Heavenly Father and he loves all of us equally.    

Family Cultures

Today we live in a world full of life. Many seem to be confused on what that may mean, some may think they know what that means, and some continue to progress so that they can learn to understand what life really means. There is culture. diversity, gender, religion, education, family, etc. and everyone of these alters destiny. In this case we are coming to understand culture within the bounds of the family. My parents always taught us with love. Culture doesn't necessarily mean that it is created. It doesn't mean that the there are differences in skin color or in location, it simply means that every family develops unique ways to live together. In a family unit, parents govern and guide the family as kids learn right from wrong. In my family I learned hard work. That is my culture. I was brought up in a family that was very structured that allowed me to make my own decisions that helped me to grow and strengthen my own way of life. My parents allowed us to choose many things in our lives that directed us in a way of a good life lesson. The structure that they placed before us was enough to direct us to choose correctly without force. I loved it. In all families, individuals apply and remove cultures form what they grew up with. not one family upon the face of the earth lives within a family culture that is exactly the same. There may similarities but we are different and God created us that way. I know that God is a just God and he is merciful. He allowed us the gift of agency so that we would choose right from wrong and, like my parents did, experience consequence or blessings of our decisions. He is a loving God and I am so grateful for my family and the culture I was raised in.

Theories

As I have come to understand the way of life a little more each and everyday, I have come to realize that everything we do, say, think, or react to has a significant role in our lives. I seemed to grasp more onto the symbolic theory than the others that were presented in class this week. The symbolic theory is literally exactly what was written in the sentences prior to this. Everything means something in this world. I am quite the analyzer and I probably think to much. That is why this theory caught my attention. There is a talk that was given, by one in the quorum of the seventy, that is called the fourth missionary. I love this talk. I feel like it relates to everyone and not just missionaries. I bring this up because he also addresses that we are affected by everything that happens in our lives whether it be small or big but we are constantly being changed. We are changing beings. If we are not changing we can not progress.
    In class we spoke about the Systems theory that has boundaries and roles, along with the conflict theory that suggests that there are equal power structures and then there is the exchange theory that is an idea of constant exchanging. These are all phenomena's yet I have come to see that within a family unit we all choose our own theories that we naturally abide by because of how we were raised or experiences in our lives or it really could be anything that triggers the way we think. I know that God made all of his children different and we are all equally his loving children. We stand together and work together to fight the battle of life.

BE YOU!

Classmates Blogs

Michael Williams... MichaelWilliamsCounseling.com
Trent Winn... trentwinn.blogspot.com
Rebecca Carter... rebeccarosecarter.blogspot.com
Elizabeth Holmes... elphantsfavoritefood.blogspot.com
Brailey Ellis... insighttothefamily.blogspot.com
Nate Blumenberg... nathanblumenberg.blogspot.com
Katelyn Schnepf... firmfamilies.blogspot.com
Shauna Dudgeon... ravenhands.worpress.com
Stephanie Sogla.... soglaohana.blogspot.com
Marissa Parks... marissalanaeparks.blogspot.com
Christy Yeong...ytszkiu.blogspot.com
Cassandra Blakey... cmblakely.blogspot.com
Samantha Ward.. Sammie19blog.weebly.com
Piper Stocking... sydneypiper.wordpress.com
Addi Heap... thoughtsoffachilddevlopmentmajor.blogspot.com
Ashley Judy... ashley12judy.blogspot.com
Tim Proskine...whatgodhathjoinedtogether.blogspot.com
Kenedi Gobl... fromthehearttohome.blogspot.com
Madison Walker... familymatters.blogspot.com
Marissa Brasga... marsbrasga.blogspot.com
Jordanne Walker... jordannewalker.wordpress.com
Kayee Kellogg... kelloggkaylee.blogspot.com
Cayley Barton... cayleybarton.blogspot.com
Michael Stevenson... www.3N513.Weebly.com
Kia Dewsnup... kiamd.blogspot.com
Megan Fokken... theohanastudios.blogspot.com
Karen Lozano... karenlozano.blogspot.com
Celeste Riches... momentscreatememories.blogspot.com
Nicole Barton... kahanhturangpamilya.blogspot.com
Miranda Mortenson... mirandamortensen.blogspot.com
Madeline Fife... nonoblerwork.wordpress.com
katie Beeson... ktbzn.wordpress.com
Dayna Schneider... familyistheanchor.blogspot.com
Lacey Turpin... laceyturpin.wordpress.com
Melissa Gould... melissalovesfamily.blogspot.com
Kourtney Howard... happinessthroughfamilies.blogspot.com
Mccall Donovan... mccallsreasons.blogspot.com
Raquel Villafuerte... raquelvillafuerte.wordpress.com
Ben Davies... familylearnin.blogspot.com
Ashley Pound... theboatyblog.blogspot.com
Ethan Watson... ethansfamily2015.blogspot.com
Stephanie Dudley... keytoeternalhappiness.wordpress.com
Kimberly Murphy... loveathome.wordpress.com
Devree Hamblin... devreeslife.blogspot.com
Kaylie Kenison... lifestoshorttomatchyoursocks.wordpress.com

Hello My name is Mariah Michaelis and I am extremely excited to get the opportunity to start this blog and record my progress by keeping a journal of my thoughts and interests. I am a Marriage and Family Major and I find by taking this class, Family Relations, I will learn to manage a family and keep it strong within the walls of the Church. That is my biggest goal in life to raise a family under the safety net of the church. I served a mission in Vina del Mar, Chile and Loved every second of serving my Savior Jesus Christ. I know that the learnings and teachings I received in the mission will help me to strengthen that relationship within my own family.